Tuesday, November 17, 2009

Catching up?

Well, its way past time to update this I expect :-)

October seemed to be quite busy running up to my vacation in Sechelt. Don't really know what it was I was doing but everyday seemed to have one appointment or another. I do know that I was more than ready to get on that plane and get 'out of Dodge'

The trip to Sechelt was very relaxing and full of great food. Many many thanks to Anne and Patti for putting up with me for two weeks. I don't know where the time went but it seemed to fly by and suddenly it was time to come home. The weather even cooperated the first 10 days I was there and we didn't get a lot of rain until the Friday before I left!

This trip gave me the opportunity to fly in a seaplane! Now, most of you know that I like to fly in large planes, a 4 seater Cessna is definitely not on that list but I did it and had a great flight. The flight was only 20 minutes and beat the heck out of bus/ferrying it to Sechelt which would have taken several hours. And at the end of the flight I managed to convince Anne that we needed to go to the Lighthouse and have fish and chips which were as good as I remembered them being.

I am seeing my oncologist this Thursday and am hoping he will agree to me not returning to work until January. If nothing else, my holiday managed to convince me that there is no way I am ready to return to work at the beginning of December. The fatigue continues to persist, I am ok for an hour or two and then the wave hits and all bets are off. 9 pm is a very late nite for me at the moment and I seem to be getting up fairly late as well. But I am walking as much as possible so that does help, but my stamina is still very elusive and certainly not around when I need it to be. Last week I saw my surgeon for a follow up and he has ordered a mammogram and is refering me for breast reconstruction (what are they reconstructing???) which is a long process and won't be happening until at least a year from now. I have also been going to a breast cancer support group once a week which has been very good for me. Lots of information has been shared and that is always a good thing.

Bubby (Milo) is growing like a weed! He is getting so big and is walking around furniture and just being a busy little boy. I haven't seen him for a couple of weeks but Janna tells me the top teeth are getting ready to appear and my poor boy is not feeling well during his teething sessions! I hope to see him this weekend, I have missed him terribly while I was away. Definitely need a Bubby fix :-)

Not very much else is new around here. I want to thank Lisa for coming and helping me with cleaning. I use the word help very lightly however, she made me sit in the chair and watch! Also many thanks again to Anne, Patti and Dennis for a most wonderful two weeks on the Sunshine Coast. I would love to move there, and who knows, maybe it will happen.

I hope you will all continue to keep in touch, the emails and phone calls are very reassuring to recieve. I have been not great about replying to many of those emails and I apologize for that as well as promising to do better with that. So, until next time....

Monday, October 12, 2009

BAD BAD BLOGGER!

Well, that would be ME! I apologize for this, and as always, will try to do better!

As I talked about in my last post, eons ago, radiation began at the end of August. I still can't figure out how 5 minutes can tire a person out so much. The first half of my appointments were around lunch time, causing me to need a nap in the morning and the afternoon. Not very productive, but there you go! I slept through most of the nice weather! And my suggestion to any of you is to never suntan/burn your underarm! I am very burnt in the radiation area, but the underarm is particularly painful. One more week though and it should start to improve. Radiation apparently continues to 'work' two weeks after treatments stop. And I guess it could have been worse, I could have blisters there!

As a further update, the boxes are now gone! We had the garage sale the weekend after Labour Day, which proved to be a good choice weather wise. Although the next two weekends were quite warm, they were very windy and we would have chased everything for miles if we had had the sale then. There were not as many people coming as we had hoped, Friday was mainly just steady and Saturday was dead. I am so grateful to my sister, superwoman in a cast, and City Colleen as the sale would not have happened without them. They did the bulk of everything, I was told to sit down and behave! Fortunately, I did not have much energy so that wasn't really that hard for me to do, but I don't enjoy having people do things for me that I am sure I can do for myself. Call me stubborn,or just plain stupid, but there it is.

All of the 'leftovers' from the sale went to the Drayton Valley Thrift shop via Anna. I have to say it feels good to have that out of the way. I still think I have too much stuff, but there is way less than there used to be so I think I have made a good start!

A couple of weeks ago I thought I'd best get my studio under control. Between the 'chemo' side effects and the fatigue from all the treatments I had only managed to pile things up. But I had my fabric dresser moved into the studio, set up the book case that I had purchased months ago and I now have a very workable space. Again this is in large part thanks to City Colleen who is a genius at organizing both stuff and space. I can't tell you how much easier she made the sorting of stuff in the garage, it seems like common sense to me now, but at the time was a huge breakthrough! What on earth would I do without all my awesome friends!!!!

And so, last week, I began a new project. I will not really talk about it until its done, but I am enjoying doing this project, just for the joy of doing it. No expectations, no deadlines, just do it!
Sgritty likes it when I sew, how can one sew without a cat laying on your project? She is not really sure about the iron, I believe she thinks its just a bit too hot for her :-) She also enjoys it when I knit, its great fun to bat at the yarn when Mom is knitting. She is certainly enjoying being the only cat in the house, and is very happy sitting on anyone's lap if you sit still long enough.

I forgot to mention earlier that Janna, Jesse and Milo moved to Edmonton at the beginning of September. I miss Milo terribly, but I see him fairly regularly and that is ok. It was a tough adjustment for me though, but I have survived. I expect Milo will be walking by Christmas, that boy is just gogogogo all the time. He crawls at a very quick rate of speed, walks around the furniture and generally keeps everyone on their toes! I can't believe how much he has changed in the 6 weeks since they moved but I certainly enjoy spending time with them when I can.

And finally, the Tamoxifen update. I managed to get my 'night sweats' ramped up as the major side effect from it. Fortunately, an anti-depressant seems to keep this well under control and I figure that won't hurt me either. It has been a very stressful year and I will take all the help I can get in coping with the changes that have occurred to me and my body!

And so, thats about it for now. My sister is finally out of her cast and returned to work this past week. She showed me the xray of her foot, looks very painful and she is already looking forward to getting the three screws out that are still in her foot. I hope that it continues to heal and she is back to her normal self very soon.

My hair is coming in, right now it reminds me of my dad's hair but I am hoping that that passes, sooner rather than later. And yes, what is coming in looks awfully gray, but its hair and for that I am thankful!

Have a Happy Thanksgiving all! And please, email or call or whatever. You truly are all treasures to me and your support and love bring me great comfort.

Friday, August 14, 2009

Free Friday!

I have been meaning to update this for a few days but finally remembered. Chemo brain works in strange ways....

Today is the first third Friday I have not had to go to Chemo in what seems like forever. I have been enjoying my week, without having the double whammy coming at the end of the week (blood work/chemo). And August is a month with no appointments in it until the 28th which is my 'final prep' for radiation which begins August 31.

So, what have I been up to???? Not really very much. I am going through the boxes again, finding things I haven't seen in ages. Some of these things I have been vainly trying to find but couldn't reach/locate the box. So I seem to have a lot of 505 on hand now as I replaced mine since I had no idea when or if I would come across it. Some would say I now have a lifetime supply, that is provided I live to be 99! And I am not planning to live quite that long, but that is not in my control.

I have been reading alot as well. Mostly 'brain candy' mysteries, as they don't require a lot of me to get through. I am slowly starting to work my way into more thoughtful books but it is a slow process. I am hoping to start knitting again soon, I have been taking a break from it as my hands were very sore from the chemo and so I have been working on a cross stitch picture.

The cross stitch seemed like a good idea at the time, but time proved that to be an error. The chemo brain phenomenon has produced some 'interesting' issues. Like having to count the number of stitches needed over and over and over. And still messing it up. The strangest thing has been my inability to separate the symbols for two different greens. As a result I have very strangely coloured leaves in the picture. But that is ok, I'm not going to worry about it.

It seems very strange to be done the chemo part of the treatment. It is taking some adjustment, but this is a very joyful type of adjustment. It was very stressful living life in 3 week segments, especially for the past 12 weeks when the treatments were so harsh on me.

One last thing, before I forget. I start taking Tamoxifen today. This is the first day of the next 5 years! I am hoping I don't do any of the side effects of this drug, in fact I have mentally refused to even entertain their existence. Hopefully this will prove true.

And thats it for today. Not too much to say really, but I want to thank everyone who phones, emails and just generally thinks of me. It means a lot to know that I am not doing this alone, even though some of you are a long way away, you are still with me in my heart!

Saturday, July 25, 2009

Chemo 6: The Last One!!!

Well, it seems like a long, long time ago that I was just starting out on the chemo journey. And I have come to the end, at last! I was so excited this week, even though I had appointments for one thing and another all week it seemed to crawl along until.....Friday morning at last!

The Picc line was also to come out which made me happy too. So chemo went well, I hope. I was lucky to be up in the 'penthouse' for chemo yesterday and even more blessed to have city Colleen with me. I have had 4 of my treatments up in the penthouse and I have to say it is my 'favorite' place to have chemo. It reminds me of the bridge of the Starship Enterprise, that big curved edge with windows wall to wall pretty much so you have a great view, well, at least its something. And the nurses station would be the bridge. The nurses up there are awesome, and it just seems to be calmer up there than on the main floor chemo wards. So it was a good day all round.

I was a little nervous about the Picc line removal after the treatment was done but it turned out to be a waste of my energy, which I had thought it likely was. Now I just need to get through the next 10 days or so and I can begin to really build up my strength before I start radiation. I have been very weak since the end of May really, and these last 2 months have passed in a blur of fatigue and at times, pain. But that is almost behind me and I'm looking forward to getting on with the remainder of my treatment.

I start taking Tamoxifen on August 14. And I am determined to not be the "Queen of Side Effects" on this drug. Given that I think I have done my bit for exhibiting side effects during chemo I am hoping I don't go there with Tamoxifen as I have to take it for 5 years! So hoping you can also send me lots of positive energy so that I am having some assistance with mine :-)

Little sis' foot is continuing to heal. She gets one of the pins out this coming Friday and she is very nervous. I will be sending her lots of positive energy that day and I hope some of you will too. I have no idea what that will feel like, but I'm thinking the picc line was way easier...

Glenda has returned to work and is doing very well. I am looking forward to that part as well although Dr Au informed me at my last appointment that he did not want me returning to work until at least December 1st!?! I had hoped for November but I guess I'd best follow his directions as I think he is the expert and not me. After all, this is my first (and God willing) my last trip across this dance floor!

Radiation will be starting mid to late August and going for 5 weeks. From cheering Glenda through that treatment I know it goes very quickly as you're so busy, going to the Cross every work day. But you're not there long, and then you can go home and sleep! Which I understand is not an option but a necessity. I will find out the for sure dates by August 4 and will keep you all posted.

Thanks so much to all of you who email, call and put up with me during this seemingly endless dance of treatment. When I first saw my surgeon, which seems years ago at this point, and he said I would be off for 'at least 6 months' I couldn't imagine that. I am now almost to the 6 month point (Aug 6 to be exact!) and can't believe how quickly that has really gone by. At times it didn't seem to be going quickly but looking back it seems just a blink.

Anyway, thats it for today. No bus driving last nite and although I feel quite tired today I am feeling positive that I am going to do better with the side effects this time. After all, it is my last time for this, God willing!
Take care all!

Friday, July 3, 2009

chemo 5: here I come!

Well, after studying really hard I managed to pass my blood test yesterday and am off for chemo today! I am not looking forward to it but it needs to get done and then....there will be only 1 more chemo treatment! Yes, the end is in sight.

This last one was tough. I am getting a new drug(for me) and its strong stuff! The Dr has reduced the dose for this time as I have been having issues with the side effects. I was actually glad I didn't have hair last time, as if its not there it can't hurt! I hurt from the top of my head to the bottom of my feet for the first 10 days. Had to put Follet's sequel to 'Pillars of the Earth" down as it was too heavy for me to hold. And the brain wasn't really working well enough to follow the story line....ah chemo brain, you have to love it! For any of you who thought my memory was having issues before, well, you have seen nothing yet!

I have also lost my taste sense! Which can be funny if you need to have some one taste test something. I don't notice it most of the time, only when I put something other than water in my mouth LOL I made spaghetti sauce about 10 days ago and only realized when i went to see if it need more 'stuff' that I could only feel the texture, but no taste at all. Now I know I'm not the world's greatest cook, but hey! there should be some flavour. This went on through my pulled pork experiment (which smelled awesome, and I'm told it tasted great :-0 ) and the potato salad effort! Glenda has given me a recipe for seafood salad that I really want to try, but the directions say to mix the sauce to taste, so I think it would be wise for me to wait until there is someone reliable here to taste it for me! And that would not be Janna so looking for volunteers!

Anyway, the chemo quilt is languishing on my sewing table. I have just not had the energy to go and sit at the machine, or do much of anything. Add to that, my nails are really taking a beating from this drug! I was watching TV about a week ago, looked down to see my big toe covered in blood from where the nail had split (down the middle!). It didn't/doesn't hurt but it sure looks funny. I guess I need to be alot more circumspect when I watch TV and not wave my feet around so much????

well, I will try to update well before the last chemo, but no promises at this point. And to update you on Glenda, she has returned to work! I am a tad jealous, normal life? I can't figure out what that would be at this point in time, but my turn will come.

And many thanks to Donna for the 'Celebratory 1/2 way there flowers'. I will post a photo if I ever figure out how to do that. The flowers were and are beautiful and it certainly gave me a mental lift when they came. I am always amazed by how something/someone always manages to do something for me that I need. And I really needed the boost the day the flowers came! So thanks ever so much!

For anyone still reading, I wanted to update you on my sister's foot. She had surgery 2 weeks ago, the foot is 'pinned'. She had an appointment with her surgeon yesterday and apparently she essentially broke the foot in half ! He said this is quite common? The really down side is that she has to be off work for 3 months. This is not a great thing when you're self employed, but at least she will be ok and that is way more important.

Take care all! I am hoping to be up to making some phone calls in a couple of weeks, but if you feel like yakking with me, please feel free to call! I will let you know that I am way better in the midday, the evenings seem to coincide with my energy taking a long walk off a short pier.......

Saturday, June 13, 2009

Body Slam

Well, Chemo 3 body slammed me. I have never felt so low in my life and it has been challenging to get through. Thankfully that is behind me now! And chemo 4 is under my belt.

My chemo nurse for the third treatment suggested I speak with my oncologist about a new drug that is out to control nausea since I have driven the bus every nite after the first 3 treatments. I did discuss this with Dr Au and have tried it. And I have to say it works! Expensive, but worth it. And thank God for benefits, or I may have had to rethink trying it. But I now know it would be worth every penny and so far so good...

I am trying really hard to rest and recuperate. This weekend I will sit on the front deck and enjoy the weather, knit and read. Chemo really takes my energy and it is depressive as well. Because I was hit so hard by Chemo 3 I have now added anti-depressants to the mix. I haven't filled the prescription yet, but I will if I need to.

And now for other news. Little sis fell and has apparently broken some part of her foot. She is scheduled for surgery on Tuesday in Red Deer???? of all places to fix what is broken. She is not really clear about what part of her foot is affected, but it is in a walking cast and she has the 'party pack' of pain killers so that is good. I am hoping that Ron will set up her birthday hammock so she can keep her foot up and relax while they are at the lake this weekend. Probably a good thing she is the sister that doesn't like being in boats LOL, but I know I wouldn't let a little thing like a cast keep me out of a boat. Of course, a big thing like a picc line will keep me out of the boat until its out, the risk of getting wet is just too high, and I can't play around with that. But a cast, just peanuts..... anyway, hoping her foot mends well after surgery and she is back to work really soon!

As for me, I will again attempt to update this more frequently. The chemo quilt is coming along, but I can't find my 505 spray and I need to get the background quilted so I can start to attach the flower petals. Anyone know which box that might be in???? (just kidding, i don't even know where to start looking for it! but I am looking and it will eventually turn up!)

Hope everyone is enjoying the weather. It is +20C on the front deck right now! I am so excited, you all know how much I love the hot weather. I don't have alot of energy today, but I can sit and soak up the heat, with my sunscreen on, and finally enjoy some nice weather!

Have a great weekend all!

Tuesday, May 26, 2009

1/2 way there...

Not even sure where I'm 1/2 way to, but the chemo is now 1/2 done. And this time it has hit me pretty hard. Not sure if its because I had so long between or what, but lets just say the last 4 days have not been in my top 10.

It was nice though, to have the extra time between chemo's. I got to Slave Lake camping with my sister and her hubby for the long weekend. Its just too bad the weather (the good weather that is LOL) didn't arrive at the same time. But it was very relaxing and I really felt good by the time I got home....

Just in time for a crazy busy week of appointments. First off was the "Look Good, Feel Better" program that Glenda signed us up for. That was the day that I realized that my eyebrows have been vanishing!!! But I know how to fix that now. It was a great day and I enjoyed seeing a very short snappy little wig that I think I may just have purchase, but in a different colour. I'll keep you all posted. Hey, maybe I'll even figure out how to post photos to here, once my camera comes home (I left it in Ron's truck on the long weekend, dumb me!) and I have some to post.

Wednesday was the second last journal making class. Tomorrow is the last one and I will have mine done, its all ready to be bound at this point.

Thursday and Friday were the 'dread' days for me last week. First on Thursday I had the picc line installed. I am not enjoying this hardware, it is in my upper left underarm and I cannot get it wet. And its here for the duration. Oh joy, there went/go my dreams of going out in the boat this summer. And of course, I wrapped up the week with Chemo.

I am learning, very very slowly that I really need to pace myself a whole bunch better. I have commited to scaling back this go around to see if it doesn't help me a bit. I get so tired after chemo but on days that I feel good I tend to 'over-do' and I am having issues figuring out when its 'too far' ....suggestions welcome :-)

anyway, again I resolve to be more frequent in my posting but at this point I'm not going to make any rash promises! I hope you are all well and just want to say thanks to everyone for staying in touch. Your emails mean a lot to me, and make me feel connected, especially on those days that are not going so smoothly....