1/2 way there...

Not even sure where I'm 1/2 way to, but the chemo is now 1/2 done. And this time it has hit me pretty hard. Not sure if its because I had so long between or what, but lets just say the last 4 days have not been in my top 10.

It was nice though, to have the extra time between chemo's. I got to Slave Lake camping with my sister and her hubby for the long weekend. Its just too bad the weather (the good weather that is LOL) didn't arrive at the same time. But it was very relaxing and I really felt good by the time I got home....

Just in time for a crazy busy week of appointments. First off was the "Look Good, Feel Better" program that Glenda signed us up for. That was the day that I realized that my eyebrows have been vanishing!!! But I know how to fix that now. It was a great day and I enjoyed seeing a very short snappy little wig that I think I may just have purchase, but in a different colour. I'll keep you all posted. Hey, maybe I'll even figure out how to post photos to here, once my camera comes home (I left it in Ron's truck on the long weekend, dumb me!) and I have some to post.

Wednesday was the second last journal making class. Tomorrow is the last one and I will have mine done, its all ready to be bound at this point.

Thursday and Friday were the 'dread' days for me last week. First on Thursday I had the picc line installed. I am not enjoying this hardware, it is in my upper left underarm and I cannot get it wet. And its here for the duration. Oh joy, there went/go my dreams of going out in the boat this summer. And of course, I wrapped up the week with Chemo.

I am learning, very very slowly that I really need to pace myself a whole bunch better. I have commited to scaling back this go around to see if it doesn't help me a bit. I get so tired after chemo but on days that I feel good I tend to 'over-do' and I am having issues figuring out when its 'too far' ....suggestions welcome :-)

anyway, again I resolve to be more frequent in my posting but at this point I'm not going to make any rash promises! I hope you are all well and just want to say thanks to everyone for staying in touch. Your emails mean a lot to me, and make me feel connected, especially on those days that are not going so smoothly....

The train is in the station

Or something. I have been meaning to post for a while now, but kept thinking I had nothing much to talk about.



I guess I'll talk about the move first. What a great team! Thanks to Anna (for her truck and her back :-) ), nephew Stevie, Jesse, Kelly and Lyle. Little sis says I need an 'clutter intervention' and she is right. I have known this for some time, it was always an issue to find the time before. Now I have ample time, but seem to be lacking in energy. But, I have been pretty good, I am going through stuff and getting the piles organized, mostly in my mind at the moment. Not so good on space just now, but it is coming.



The real issue for me are the books. I am a confessed 'bookaholic' and I will make no apologies for that. Having said that, I think I can safely lose textbooks from university courses that have nothing to do with my current interests like my intro to Japanese texts. Lots of magazines also need to 'get gone'. Of course these will be harder as they are directly related to my fiber art interests so they will take a while to go through. But it will get done.

And then there is the chemo, or not. I had my blood work and oncologist appointment last Wednesday. It seems I managed to fail my blood test which in some ways relieved some of the stress I had been feeling about being so very tired. More distressing is the fact that the one chemo drug which is particularly harsh on veins has managed to trash mine. So now I have to have a 'pick line' installed. And this is proving to be a sticking point, I finally found out yesterday that that appointment is not scheduled until May 21st!!!! My blood should be just fine by then, on the plus side, but this is putting me a month behind the finishing of this stage of the program.
Can you tell I may be a 'wee' bit frustrated?

The leather journalling class is great though. It is very therapeutic to do something that you know nothing about, not to mention it is great to be creating again. I will try to post some photos for next time, but will have to figure out how to do that. I can't imagine that its too difficult, but first I need to get my camera to 'talk' to my computer, they are apparently having a spat at the moment.

I also need to thank Cathy for putting my name forward to the 'Victoria Quilts Canada' group who give quilts to cancer patients. She is very patiently waiting for me to post a photo and it is going to get done as well, but the computer/camera issue needs to get resolved first. If any one who is reading this is a quilter I would just like to put in my 2 cents worth about what a great organization this is. I am hoping to donate some 'excess' fabric to this group for their endeavours. I also took it upon myself to request a quilt for Glenda, and hope that hers arrives soon.

Monday was a greatly productive day here as well. City Colleen came out and helped me to organize my studio. I have been working in there, although very slowly, and once I get everything sorted/organized/gone this is going to be a wonderful space to create in. And there will be room for my Nordictrack, since the wind seems to put kibosh on my walking routine most days. Many many thanks to Colleen for lending me her help with organizing my studio and helping me sort out the kitchen as well.

I will be attempting to be way more diligent about posting, I have fallen sadly behind on this but have been dealing with some mental stress and fatigue issues. Hopefully those will resolve and I can be way more chatty.

Many thanks again to all for their support. I do so appreciate hearing from each and every one of you, you are all great!

Until next time....

1/3 Done!!!

Wel, the second Chemo treatment is now history. My facebook status yesterday pretty much summed it up: I now have a "professional porcelain bus drivers license" ! Well, yippee.

Having said that I must say that it was not nearly so bad as last time. And I am having trouble remembering to take my anti-nausea drugs so perhaps I am either getting used to this stuff or what they gave me during chemo works better? Can't imagine it would work this long though, so who knows! I know I am just grateful that I feel better earlier.

Today I get to begin the 'leather journal making' class offered through the "Arts in Medicine" an AB Cancer board workshop. I have managed to talk Glenda into coming to this as well. It is a 6 week program and I am really eager to learn yet another craft, but this is one that I think I will utilize as we will learn a traditional book binding method. Always transferable to fabric!

I also hope to squeeze in a stop at Fabricland, looking for a jacket pattern for Mr Milo. Janna seems to lose his jackets fairly frequently and what better way to use up my 'flourescent' fabric than on a jacket that she will lose after the first wearing? There are a couple of other items I should look for at Fabricland but what they are are totally escaping me at the moment. Hopefully I will remember while I'm there, if not it will have to wait.

I haven't been sleeping well as I'm stewing over moving this weekend. While it will be good to have all my 'junk' under one roof, it is sad to see the end of my 'on my own year' but I know this is likely not a permanent move for me, but I guess time will tell. At this point I am really working hard at not saying what may or may not happen but instead letting myself 'go with the flow'. And its odd, I always thought I was really good at that but it turns out I am not so good at it. But I'm getting better :-)

Many many thanks to everyone who calls, emails, drops by for visits or who just drop me short notes. I cannot tell you how much this is appreciated. Especial thanks to Denise for giving up her Thursday to cook a wonderful meal for us, as well as several dishes that are now in my freezer ready to eat. And her Thursday time was probably much more time than that as she researched a ton of cookbooks to find me healthy, cancer fighting food recipes (including many that contain chocolate). Also thanks to Joanne for sharing Easter dinner with us, my sister for sending said Easter dinner already cooked. Many thanks too, to Lisa for driving me to chemo and letting me beat her at cards. And those of you who know me well, know that i am not very good at card games, I seem to lack the competitive gene LOL

Anyway, I better post this now as I need to go have a nap before heading out to my course. Thanks again for following along with me, and thanks again for all your support!

off the hook

Well I feel like yesterday's post was a bit blah, so thought I'd try again.

Actually this one is just to say that I have NO chemo this week! Which is ok by me. I had needed to have it postponed until Thursday and that was quite do-able apparently except for one tiny little glitch...the Good Friday holiday.

Dr Au wanted me to come the day after Chemo for re-hydration because I was so ill last time. Of course, if I don't get sick this time I don't have to go in, but he wanted me to be able to do that. And because of the holiday I wouldn't have been able to do so....so Chemo is scheduled for next Monday, April 13.

I feel like I have won the lottery! No chemo this week, a chance to get what I needed to get done, done. Yes!!! So now I just have to get to those items on my list. And I get to enjoy turkey! I am a little over-excited about this I know, but hey, you take what you get!

This morning I am going for a manicure. And yes, this is my first time to have one. The chemo has dried out my cuticles to the point of ridiculous and my nails are not good either. Well, they likely have never been that great but they will be later today.

So, thats my wee update for today. Before I sign off I just want to say thank you to everyone for their support, prayers and just being there for me. I can not say how much it means to me to have you all on my side, as it were. Special thanks to Lisa, City Colleen and everyone else who offers rides and diversions on this trip! It means so much to me and there really is no way to repay you all for your kindness except to let you knoe it is truly appreciated!

So, THANK YOU ALL!

Chemo Limbo Land..

I was going to get to this last week, but I don't really know where last week went!



Anyway, the last two weeks have been....odd? The second week after chemo was the first week in many (since January 15!) that I had 0 appointments. It took me a couple of days to figure out why I felt so 'unanchored' and I was surprised that it had snuck up on me like that since I had been needing an appointment free week.



And so I painted the closet red. I love it, and I am also very glad that it isn't any bigger than it is. If it had been it likely would only be 1/2 red :-) And I set up my sewing machine, turfed out all the lint, dust etc and got it going. I can't believe I haven't sewn in almost 3 years but there you have it. I have fabric pulled and stacked, ready to get to work on. But wait, where is my rotary cutter????? I searched everywhere, and it certainly isn't where I remember packing it. So, borrowed mom's for a day or two before replacing the old girl.



Which is still resident in its package! Because I overdid it on Thursday and Friday, I have been paying the price this weekend.



Thursday's overdo was brought about by the sudden evacuation of my hair. I was 'blizzarding' hair! And although I had thought I was mentally prepared, it turned out I was no where near that state.... it would seem a person can't really prepare for that, other than to have the best hairdresser in the world ready to squeeze you in at the very last moment! Thank God Kelly did, and although shaving my head was as traumatic for her as it was for me, she was able to sell me on the excitement of the 'total hair makeover' that I will have. Eventually....And 1/4" hair is so much less noticeable when it comes out!

And then of course, Janna and I had to watch the final ER episode until midnite once we got home. I have been thinking since that I can't have a bad hair day anytime in the near future, just bad hat days LOL And fortunately for me Janna is miss fashion and I have several fun, and fashionable hats to wear. Also several 'flourescent' bandannas that I made for myself (they aren't really flourescent, but Janna has 'colour phobia' and she thinks they are :-) ). I don't think I'll go for a wig, I can just see the damn thing blowing off my head and that would be traumatic! Anyway, Thursday began the over-do and I didn't sleep very well that nite.

Friday, Janna, Milo and I went to Costco and then I stopped by City Colleens for a coffee. Got home much later than I anticipated and was unable to nap...as we were going for Greek food Friday nite! I love Greek food (thanks Val and Donna for introducing me to Saganaki, although my waist doesn't thank you !) and we had a fun group. Janna and Jesse (and Milo) also joined us for supper.

Turns out Milo is Greek! There he was in his car seat, moving to the Greek music and when the belly dancer came around, well, of course he had to get up and dance! Well, his grandma held him, but he was just having so much fun, and really liking the glittery, shiny belly dancer's costume! He has requested a repeat visit, and of course his grandma is always up for more Saganaki, so we will be back....

But it was a very late nite for me, didn't get home until 11:30 and when I got up Saturday morning I knew my gad about time was done for this weekend. I was so tired I couldn't even think through a knitting pattern that I was starting...and so the rest of the weekend turned out to be very quiet....

So quiet that I turned down an invite from Val and Donna for Greek food! But I had some visitors, my sister Anna came on Saturday afternoon, and Joanne came yesterday...so nice to catch up! And this week will likely be fairly quiet as I am scheduled for chemo...2nd go around....and then there will be 4 left....

Step 4a: The first of 6 Chemo treatments...but first let me tell you about Glenda..

Well, its day 2 post-chemo. I really wanted to post yesterday but while the mind was almost there the body was certainly not.

When they tell you Chemo doesn't hurt they are right. If you discount getting the IV put in that is...which is only nasty if you look I find. And I don't look so its not so bad. And you know you're far gone when you have port envy LOL I was busy admiring everyone else's port, including my friend Glenda who came to visit with Lyle and I while I was getting my chemo. Anyway, you only get a port if your veins aren't good apparently, so that was the end of my port envy :-)

I think some of you may not know about Glenda. I met her through Lyle when he worked at Zedi. The November before the last one (sorry the math brain is off today!) and she had just landed a job with a new and much better employer. Fast forward 9 months, or June of last year and she contacted me as she knew I was seeking a new position with better benefits and pay, when she told me about my current position and to get my resume in asap. Anyhoo, her and I have become good friends over the time I've known her.

The real irony in this is that just shortly after I had noticed my lump, but before I got in touch with the Dr (idiot that I am!), she was diagnosed with breast cancer. And so, once she told me, then I got my butt in gear. She has a different type of breast cancer, it is very aggressive and she was lucky to get in the clinical trial for Avastin. Avastin was in the news in the past couple of weeks here in Alberta as the AB gov't finally approved it for use in colo-rectal cancer.

I call Glenda my tour guide, and I have promised to get her a 'safari' hat so everyone will know she is my tour guide and mentor during this crappy dance. She is a step ahead of me in the dance, her last chemo treatment is at the end of this month and in late April she will begin radiation therapy. If you have a moment please say a prayer on behalf of Glenda as well.

It was great to have her at Chemo for support I must say. We get different drugs, but we both have a slightly wacked sense of humour so we laughed and joked. Lyle even had to join in with us so I guess it was contagious.

Anyway, I guess I should get back to the chemo stuff. The one thing I found different was that I thought the 3 drugs would be in one bag, no way....one at a time! Anyway, they give you an anit-nausea drug first, that took 20-30 minutes I guess. The next one was the E in FEC, Epirubicin. Now most of you know I have developed a huge fondness for red over the past 4 or 5 years but that may be about to end! This is one nasty drug and is bright red in colour! It looks nasty and it is nasty but I guess it does the trick. The E took about 30 minutes or so, and then they did the 5-FU push, which is the F in FEC. I am sure you know what jokes I was cracking when the nurse told me she was doing the FU push now! Very appropriately named if you ask me, which of course no one has. :-) The last drug was the C in FEC which name completely escapes me. Since it was going on for 1:30 pm and I had been there since 11 am I was getting antsy to get the heck out of there. So of course this one and the 'flush' seemed like it took forever. I could hardly wait to leave, I just wanted to go home by now.

We stopped to eat on the way home, which was a good thing. Then a quick stop at Sobey's and home by 4:30pm. I was starting to feel 'weird' and very cold. So I got settled in with my blanket and had a short nap. When I woke up I was still feeling weird, actually weirder if that is possible. I declined to eat supper, just didn't feel right and kept drinking water and water and water. It is a good thing I like water as it is necessary to up your intake considerably during the course of chemo...and none of those caffeinated bevy's either. So I have a acquired a large stock of decaf teas, but I am still having my coffee in the morning...

Anyway I went to bed very early, right after Project Runway Canada ( which is a discussion for another day, contact me privately if you wish to discuss this LOL). At 9:30 I was racing for the bathroom, I was so sick to my stomach! And that continued all nite. Thank God Janna was up at 10:30 as I called the triage nurse at the Cross because I had been sick three times by that point and could not think what I should do. Anyway, Janna and Milo ran into Leduc for some Gravol (and not the by mouth type!) and that did settle things down somewhat. Even my Sgritty Kat knew I wasn't well, she stuck to me like glue, all nite and most of yesterday as well.

Yesterday was hugely nasty, but the nausea abated as the day went along. I was really glad I had grabbed that fruit cup at Sobey's on the way home. And Jello will be made the day of chemo next time! I managed to get some rice down last nite and today I am feeling alot better. I hope this continues.

Sorry for the length of this post, but I really wanted to tell you about Glenda. And I will attempt to update this blog on a fairly regular basis! Hopefully next time my sense of humour will have returned along with my appetite!

Step 3, Meet your Oncologist!

Well, this week I got to meet my Oncologist. Dr Joy (yes, that really is his name!) is a very nice man and I felt very positive when I left. City Colleen was with me and her extraordinary note taking has been immensely helpful. And she has volunteered to attend Chemo Class with me today!

There are not words appropriate enough to express my gratitude to Colleen and indeed everyone who calls, visits, sends cards/emails. I am in awe of all of you and I appreciate your communications!

My treatment plan goes as follows:
Chemotherapy:
3 treatments once every 3 weeks of a cocktail called FEC (should by yuck! LOL) for a total of 9 weels.
3 treatments once every 3 weeks of a drug called Taxotere for another total of 9 weeks.

Tamoxifen 1/day for the next 5 years.

Radiation therapy: 5 days a week for 5 weeks.

Well, at least now I know what I'm doing for my summer vacation!
I start Chemotherapy on St Patricks Day, so I am going to consider that a lucky day to start. I am part Irish after all. And if I turn green I'll be appropriately coloured for the day :-)

I also have started counselling. I think this will help me to deal with the many changes that are going to be happening as well as help me plan for the future. I am thinking this may not be a good time to buy life insurance ?

And I plan to start work on my long delayed thesis.

I will keep everyone posted via this blog so stay tuned. I am not promising weekly posts, but I will try to post at least once every two weeks.

See you soon...